Maryellen Cammarosano

Oceanids (sea nymphs)

i.

you said the sun always goes where the water is
I wondered what you meant till I saw the sun
fading by its wand of light
leaving the land and sand in shadow
in want of light

we, as dark and bundled forms,
made our way down the open shore
far into the mouth of the sea
on the path of rocks turned upwards like elbows

I did not cringe at the wind
nor at the spray from the rushing outlets
below our booted toes,
coves where only tiny boats
can go or be rowed

as the wind twisted your dark hair
you said if we were turned topsy-turvy like a snow dome
the sea is the underside
of all we live upon

then, would a sea anemone be a cloud?
a sting ray a bird?

when I was eight
I wanted to be a mermaid
to swim and curl with utter grace
in the silent sea

with one gentle flutter,
my tail would enclose all that is beautiful
in this marine world

you said maybe mermaids do live
in secret dark places of the sea
how would we know?

your simple question hushed me

ii.

you and I began controversial
because of who we are
it was our calling

they were supposed to love us,
coddle our hearts,
put jelly sandals on our tiny feet
to protect us from the shards of discarded shells
and snap our bonnets on

but they disregarded me
instead of lauding the vision
of my starfish eyes
they pricked my face
with sea thorns

others followed suit
I chewed sand
when they smashed me down
so, I wanted
the sea to swallow me
salt and all

I would breathe deeply, gill-less,
filling my lungs like clear jars

and swim to freedom

I could silently be initiated
into a secret kingdom
by floating through a giant, quiet coral

where I would no longer live a girl
but half fish
and marvel at my sprouting fins,
all the creatures, my sorority

they left you wandering the wide shore
when night fell over the beach
with nothing but a pail and shovel and terror
in your baby heart

you slept on a hard driftwood crib
you didn't know
they would not come back for you

if we were turned over like rotten shells
we would smell
like seaweed, like inequity
like broken hearts

we believed in joyous difference and
that was our separation from them

iii.

o sea of my dreams
you are my catechism!

my dear one,
I give you a cup of hope,
this is our baptism
plunge down with me into the belly of mother sea
to wet down our hair
to wash us clean once and for all

they ignored me,
they did not come back for you,

someone must lick the salt from our lips
till it is gone and

when I burst upward from this marvelous deep
I'll understand so many things

I didn't, before

 

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Bio:

Maryellen Cammarosano is a poet in the New York City area and have been featured at quite a number of venues in New York, among them, Cornelia Street Cafe Sunday Night Series and Bowery Poetry Club.

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